Monday, September 28, 2009


So......Do you guys have guilty pleasures that you're embarassed about?  I asked a friend what their Guiltiest Pleasure was and they said..."candy"....uh.....errrrr!  Back it up...that is NOT a guilty pleasure b/c the majority of us (I realize that there are a select few who do NOT enjoy candy) enjoy it...therefore it does NOT qualify as a "Guilty Pleasure."  Let me break it down for everyone.  A Guilty Pleasure is something that you see/feel/taste/smell/hear....which you enjoy....yet have a sense of guilt whether real or imagined.  I have SOOOOO many Guilty would think that I would want to lock myself up and hide.  However, today I'm feeling brave...I also think it would be very therapeutic to write them down and send it out into the never ending abyss we know as the internet (completely safe right?  hmph...just don't care today).
1. Reality TV:  It's sooooo trashy but sometimes I just cannot pull myself away from it. "Keeping up with the Kardashians," "Addicted to Beauty," "Paris Hilton's BFF" (why! why me?!)  "Real World/Road Rules Challeneges," "Bridezillas" which btw HOW do those girls acutally find someone that will commit themselves to marry them?  I guess miracles still happen.
2.  Watching movies with the "Closed-Captioning" on:  it's true, I'm a closet closed-captioner.  I can't help it, but I thoroughly enjoy it.
3.  Faking sick to get out of doing chores:  I am NOT the only one in the family that does this and that's where I find justification.  All we have to do is fake/pretend we REALLY don't feel good, and voila, sympathy sets in and softens the hearts of those around us and just like chores.  Freakishly amazing....yet guilty.
4. "Sleeping like a sailor" as my dad would say: I enjoy sleeping...I sue me.  I find it hard to have a real good sleep sesh b/c my guilt immediately sets in around 10am...and as I'm talking myself into throwing my cares to the wind and sleeping til I can't sleep anymore, the wiser more concious part of me wins and I am up for the day...all the while regretting my decision to wake up...and....ultimately do's a tough battle to fight.
5.  Iced Venti Chai-tea from Starbucks (only Starbucks): so these drinks are pretty much happiness in a cup.  I haven't decided nor do I want to decided if it is in violation of  "Section 89" (D&C)...I am in torment b/c they are niether hot nor strong drinks BUT it does have the word "tea" in it...but THIS tea comes from an herb found in India....blah blah can understand my frustration wanting to uphold the standards of the church while fighting off the natural man.  For now I am at peace...the chai continues.  Throw in a vanilla scone and I am positively sinful....
6.  Borrowing wifi: not residential wifi but business wifi....why have wifi if you don't want people to use it?  Why do I feel guilty going into a buisness and using their wifi?  Because they have commercials about people "borrowing" wifi and it makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong....which leads to another internal argument....which I blatently ignore.  Still....the sense of guilt....yet....pleasurable.
7.  Oh!  This one I LOVE LOVE LOVE.....Causing trouble ON PURPOSE!  This is kind of a long story but it explains exactly what I mean.  One time (at band camp...but not really) when I was about 10 yrs old I was outside...I saw Mikey & his best friend Devin playing & for some reason or another I started yelling at them....all of sudden...Mikey threw a LOG at my head!  It didn't really hurt or phase me, but in my mind I was so mad at him for throwing a log at the drama queen that I, THEN, was...clamped my hand on my head and went screaming bloody murder to my mom.  When I got into the house I remember exactly what happened....I gave a BRILLIANT performance about what happened and as I pulled my hand away from my head I felt it....wet, thick, nastiness....blood.  I remember drifting in and out of conciousness, seeing bloody wash rag after bloody wash rag being pulled away from my head to try and clot the bleeding.  My plan back-fired...not only did Mikey NOT get in trouble (b/c all the attention was on me and saving my mischievious life), but I was taken to the hospital for tests and annoying!  As an adult looking back...that's what I get....I was trying to cause trouble and it backfired.  Serves me right...right?  WRONG....I continued in my pursuit to instigate trouble for my own amusement.  Hehehehehehe...guilty pleasure number 7...check!
8.  Justification:  I don't know why I get such a kick out of this...but I can pretty much justify myself out of anything.....please bless I don't turn into a murderer or something horrendous like that.  I'm talking about the petty stuff....not washing my car, not taking the garbage out, impulse buying, a quick trip to know, the stuff that doesn't really matter.
Ok so now that I've totally ratted myself out....what about you guys?  What are YOUR guilty pleasures???


gabegen said...

wow you have a lot of guilty pleasures... i secretly stalk model management websites... and crochet a lot and won't stop even though my kids need diaper changes and need to be fed... well, i eventually stop to do those things for them... but that's it. oh... and sometimes I like to be mean and I always think it's funny when people fall on their face, muhahaha!

Jennifer Lane said...

Oh my...I live the most LAME life. How come I don't have any guilty pleasures?? Help please!

Jennifer Lane said...

Just thought of one....Nordstrom....totally a guilty pleasure.


I love Chai tea too! But FYI it is made out of black tea which is one of the strongest teas out there. But TAZO from the grocery store makes a great decaf at home:)