Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Guess Not

The thing about little girls is that when they put their mind to something it becomes an insatiable challenge, they are stubborn, almost spoiled to the point of getting their way,  When I was a little girl I would imagine all the fun things I would do come my teen years.  In my teen years I imagined my young single adult years and how fun they would be, and they were. As I look back I see that my life hasn't just been me waiting for different events to happen it has been sort of a continuous montage of events that have delivered me into the exact place that I am.  I, am...fairly single, and by fairly single I mean that I have a very loving, supportive, and patient boyfriend, but we're not ready to jump into marriage quite yet.  I have a stable job and a side hussle that I do for fun, and to improve my communication skills, I also receive college credit for this said, side hussle.  My family is wonderful.  I have an incredible set of parents, I use the word "incredible" loosely because there is so much depth I could go into but that's an entirely different blog in and of itself.  I have outstanding siblings meaning they stand out from the rest of the crowd I run around with (no offense to friends).  I live comfortably in my small yet cozy apartment with views that people pay the big bucks for...I have all the essentials covered: cable, wifi, utilities, rent, AC (an absolute), all for free. And yet the little girl in my head is shaking her head because this is not what we imagined.  We imagined a home with 2 or 3 kiddos running around by now and maybe a couple on the way.  We imagined a six figure income with a tall dark (oh yes, dark) and handsome GENTLEMAN running the show.  We imagined more neices and nephews, we imagined less taxes (well, we imagined no taxes at all but...uh....).  We imagined different occupations we would employ. And now, in this reality check as I go over every point/goal I had growing up instead of being dissapointed in myself or sad about the lack of success I should have by now I am overwhelmed with grattitude for the way things have turned out.  I'm pretty sure our Heavenly Father knows what he's doing.  Instead of letting a little girl decide the way her life will be, through character building situations, through various opportunities in life, and through free agency I've kind of just found my way into a very happy and joyful time.  Getting knocked down and then finding the strength to get up again has had profound gains on this girls reality.  What I'm saying is that I always thought I would be somewhere else right now, but where I am in this very given moment is where I'm supposed to be, and I wouldn't change it....not one bit.  And coming to terms with that is priceless, and blissful.  And this feeling is worth every experience I've ever had...good and bad.  I.love.my.life.