Monday, March 22, 2010

Those who can't do..teach. Those who can't teach...teach GYM

Summertime is right around the corner, and I mean that in a literal sense.  I KNOW that one of these days I will open my door, walk out of my apartment and around the corner and IT will hit me like the ton of sunshine that I have desperately craved for the past 8 to 9 months.  With that in mind, I will HAVE TO dress for the occasion.  Hoodies and sweat pants will not accommodate my zealousness to stay cool (literally hahaha).  I've been going to the gym.  Don't let's fall off our chairs now.  Those of you who attend the gym regularly are seriously my hero (mom).'s kinda hard....especially for those like me who enjoy the comfort of a cushioned seat and a dark theater, pop corn and jalepenos in hand, or the comforts of plastic booths that only the likes of trendy restaurant chains can give, or even the simple pleasures of ones own bed...I am a sucker for just about any excuse of not going to the gym.  However, I thoroughly enjoy  the alleviation and contentment I feel after I get my cardio in for the day.  With this in mind I would like to send out my positive and/or non-positive vibes to the gym-goers of the 2000's.  But Jenilyn, what do you mean by "vibes?"  Ok do I say this without being....rude?  I'll just disclaim this next bit with "no offense but...."  (don't you love how people say that, but what they say is still offensive)
No offense but.....when there are 5 treadmills to my right and 7 to my left, please....PLEASE do not occupy the one RIGHT next to me.  Also, will you please (PLEASE) pop a piece of gum in your mouth if you're gonna run, walk, or do anything that requires breathing heavily next to me?  Work out breath is relentless, and all that huffing and puffing does no good for the situation.  I understand that sometimes we rush off to work in the morning and forget a few token gym items in the hussle out the door, but will you please try to remember to bring a work out towel.  All that sweating is seriously NAST, and when you wipe it off with your hands then touch the equipment I get a little germ anxiety not to mention....the thought of YOUR sweat......and others....mounding up on the machines....elghhhhh....I'm gagging.  Also, I am a very friendly person....I like to get to know people...but NOT when I'm working out.  I'm in a zone there....and I'm out of breath....I don't have the resources to keep a convo going....sorry about it.  Please don't stare (I'm not saying they're staring at me....I'm just saying "don't stare" it's not polite....I learned that like forever long ago).  Oh!  Guys....(I have never seen a girl do this that's why I say "guys") please, please don't spit in the drinking fountains.  I will not write more on the matter for fear of "losing my lunch." These are just gentle harm intended.  I would never say any of these things in a mean voice....when you work out you create endorphins....endorphins make people happy....happy people don't just say mean things.
Just to lighten the mood....don't you just love love love when people keep checking themselves out in the mirror at the gym?  Hahahahaha.  I'm not talking about when they watch themselves in the mirror while they're lifting (to correct their form) no...that's just's the ones that keep walking around, turning to different angles, staring at themselves...fixing their outfit or hair etc. You KNOW that in their minds they are just ecstatic about how "good" they look.  Ah!  I just think it's hilarious!  So anyway, I hope everyone is looking forward to picnic weather, flip flop season, pool side fun, gettin yo' tan on, fireworks (and I mean that in more than one way *winks*), late nights, outdoor fun, suh-suh-suh summertime!

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

I pledge allegiance....

Am I unpatriotic b/c I did NOT watch (nor had the desire to watch) the Olympics?  In the back of my mind there's a voice insinuating that I am not the proper American I should be b/c I lack the luster a "true" American would have while enjoying a nice evening at home kicking back and watching the ever impressive athletes wow us with their olympiadic abilities.  Somehow pushing a stone/marble puck/ball/disc, whatever the heck you call it, over the ice while 2 people scrub the ice (for a purpose I don't really understand) is hardly thrilling.  I mean, I just can't imagine anyone on the edge of their seat w/beads of sweat running down their forehead waiting for the results of that specific event.  Come to think of it, I can't imagine anyone even watching that event, unless a family member was competing, and even then they watch out of sheer obligation...not b/c they yearn for the elation that "sport" can provide.  
 Did you know that Figure Skating has different categories....there's couples skating...figure skating....and figure "dancing" jumps, no stunts just dancing...on...the ice....ummm that's weird...b/c that's what I do EVERY single time I go ice skating...the fact that it's an Olympic event is confusing, maybe I should try out next time.  I don't know if they'd be able to handle my ice dancing skills....they're pretty elite.  Did you guys see the event where they cross country ski and then randomly shoot at targets?  Who the H came up with THAT event?  I just don't get it.  Don't get me wrong, I love the (cool) events like Snowboarding....Bobsledding (Cool Runnings did me in),  Speed skating, figure skating (not figure dancing), anything w/cool stunts is right up my alley.  All the boring events can just sit on the back burner if you catch my drift.  Thanks.