Those who can't do..teach. Those who can't teach...teach GYM

Summertime is right around the corner, and I mean that in a literal sense.  I KNOW that one of these days I will open my door, walk out of my apartment and around the corner and IT will hit me like the ton of sunshine that I have desperately craved for the past 8 to 9 months.  With that in mind, I will HAVE TO dress for the occasion.  Hoodies and sweat pants will not accommodate my zealousness to stay cool (literally hahaha).  I've been going to the gym.  Don't let's fall off our chairs now.  Those of you who attend the gym regularly are seriously my hero (mom).  Ummm.....it's kinda hard....especially for those like me who enjoy the comfort of a cushioned seat and a dark theater, pop corn and jalepenos in hand, or the comforts of plastic booths that only the likes of trendy restaurant chains can give, or even the simple pleasures of ones own bed...I am a sucker for just about any excuse of not going to the gym.  However, I thoroughly enjoy  the alleviation and contentment I feel after I get my cardio in for the day.  With this in mind I would like to send out my positive and/or non-positive vibes to the gym-goers of the 2000's.  But Jenilyn, what do you mean by "vibes?"  Ok ok....how do I say this without being....rude?  I'll just disclaim this next bit with "no offense but...."  (don't you love how people say that, but what they say is still offensive)
No offense but.....when there are 5 treadmills to my right and 7 to my left, please....PLEASE do not occupy the one RIGHT next to me.  Also, will you please (PLEASE) pop a piece of gum in your mouth if you're gonna run, walk, or do anything that requires breathing heavily next to me?  Work out breath is relentless, and all that huffing and puffing does no good for the situation.  I understand that sometimes we rush off to work in the morning and forget a few token gym items in the hussle out the door, but will you please try to remember to bring a work out towel.  All that sweating is seriously NAST, and when you wipe it off with your hands then touch the equipment I get a little germ anxiety not to mention....the thought of YOUR sweat......and others....mounding up on the machines....elghhhhh....I'm gagging.  Also, I am a very friendly person....I like to get to know people...but NOT when I'm working out.  I'm in a zone there....and I'm out of breath....I don't have the resources to keep a convo going....sorry about it.  Please don't stare (I'm not saying they're staring at me....I'm just saying "don't stare" it's not polite....I learned that like forever long ago).  Oh!  Guys....(I have never seen a girl do this that's why I say "guys") please, please don't spit in the drinking fountains.  I will not write more on the matter for fear of "losing my lunch." These are just gentle reminders....no harm intended.  I would never say any of these things in a mean voice....when you work out you create endorphins....endorphins make people happy....happy people don't just say mean things.
Just to lighten the mood....don't you just love love love when people keep checking themselves out in the mirror at the gym?  Hahahahaha.  I'm not talking about when they watch themselves in the mirror while they're lifting (to correct their form)...no no...that's just fine...it's the ones that keep walking around, turning to different angles, staring at themselves...fixing their outfit or hair etc. You KNOW that in their minds they are just ecstatic about how "good" they look.  Ah!  I just think it's hilarious!  So anyway, I hope everyone is looking forward to picnic weather, flip flop season, pool side fun, gettin yo' tan on, fireworks (and I mean that in more than one way *winks*), late nights, outdoor fun, suh-suh-suh summertime!