Tuesday, January 27, 2009

The most horrible thing....

Dear fellow bloggers...my heart is in a million different pieces right now. Some of you have seen on facebook that I am now single....to save myself from telling the story over and over again let me get it out in the open to clear any confusion. I debated about blogging about this tradedy as it is very personal and so devastating, but I hope somewhere and somehow it will help SOMEONE out there. I don't know where to begin....on Saturday Sini told me he was thinking of breaking up, on Sunday he officially called off the wedding....I won't go into details b/c it's too much to bear. I love Sini with all of my heart, and the thought of us not being together forever sends me into the depths of despair (that's the only way I know how to describe it). This is by far the hardest thing I've ever had to endure in my whole entire life. I would never wish this feeling upon my worst enemy. I feel like this is worth than LOSING a loved one...being embarassed, getting a flat tire, being ugly, going to yoga...etc..etc. It came from nowhere I am completely blindsided. I have to say (this may be really cheesey to some people).....I could have gone one of two ways...I could have rejected this whole ordeal and fallen to the ways of the world, however I am trying VERY VERY VERY hard to stay as close to the Lord as I possibly can. The feelings and emotions that one bears through trials like these can't be lifted by anyone, but I believe that the Lord has the power to comfort me and guide me (or at least I hope that is the case). I honestly don't know what to do and will take any suggestions offered. Seeing as Sini and I are not together anymore my blog "sinilyn.blogspot.com" will have to change....please make sure we keep in touch if along the process of changing my blog I lose some of you. I really appreciate every single one of you in my life....

25 comments:

The Eldredge's said...

I'm so sorry Jenilyn!! That is awful!! All I can say is he obviously wasn't the right one. I hope that you can pick up and move on and enjoy life. Stay close to the Lord he will guide and direct your life if you let him. I'll be praying for you!!

LiafromLaie said...

You want me to hop on a plane and beat him up? (Just so you know that was the Samoan reaction... come to think of it the Tita one too XD)

Anyway... here's what I really want to do *GREAT BIG HUG* (Note: I don't give hugs freely but you deserve one). Also Jenilyn, The Lord knows EXACTLY, ACHE FOR ACHE, what you are going through... don't be an idiot like me and think He doesn't... like you have said you could go the way of the world with your troubles... take it from someone who took that route... DON'T DO IT! Stay close to Him that knows you best above everyone. Remember He sees the bigger picture... He's got the whole roll of film developed and is handing us a picture at a time... depending on how we live. This is just one of those times where He is testing your faith.

You, my dear, are a strong individual and I have faith that you'll get through this.

Love you lots and if and when you change your blog be sure to let me know on mine.

- Lia

TUPOU FAMILY said...

Maybe you already know but I went through a break up in Hawaii that took TWO years to get over. So here is my advice. Sometimes this happens and you get back together but if you know that isn't going to happen cut all ties. Try to avoid seeing the person until you feel you are over it. This person kept calling me every few months and that just made it worse for me. Change your focus to something, maybe someone else. Sorry that happened. Maybe Sini needs to grow up a little? Have fun with your friends and stay busy!

The Soptich clan said...

Oh Jenilyn I am so sorry. I wish I knew what to say. I admire you for being having such a strong testimony, and it really is true that the Lord will comfort you. And he will help you see the bigger picture in all of this. God loves a terrier, yes he does Jenilyn.
And you are in our (mine and Summer's) prayers too. We heart you!

i'm h.mac said...

so know how you feel. i promise, i promise the lord will make it up to you, he did for me. 10 millions times over. scott is better than the boys i thought broke my heart, they did me a huge favor. it will all be worth it when you meet the "one", really, all worth it, worth it, worth it. even if sini comes around and he is better because he lost you for one second.......

Team Jarvis said...

Oh Jen, I am so terribly sorry. I cant say that that has ever happend to me but before I met nick, my boyfriend and I were talking marriage and way suddenly he broke it off with me. I was sick and devestated. I seriously still think about it and I still cannot believe it ever happend. However, Nick came along and has made things whole. I thought that NO one would ever be like Tony (previous boyfriend) and I didnt want anyone but him EVER. I tell you, the Lord has the best timing and is sure to see that our needs are met. I dont even want to begin telling you how to deal with this or what to do, because in this situation, really, it seems like nothing ever helps. I do however have one suggestion that might bring you peace even for an hour or might cure all pain.....Go to the temple. What better place than to pour out your heart. In a time like this the temple is the best place I can think of for you that might offer some relief on that heavy heart of yours. I love you Jen, Im sorry-I really am. I know things will work out for the better but I also know thats completely unbeleiveable right now. Hugs from me and Iwill for sure keep following your blog no matter what you change it to! Friends forever girl! HUGS!!

Amy and Jeremy said...

I don't know what to say. "Sorry?" I don't want you to be hurt and I know there is nothing like this in the world that hurts like this does. You are strong and I think you are wise to put your fiath in your Savior...He truly does know what you are going through and will help you every step of the way. You have great friends and let us hlp you in anyway we can. Maybe just staying busy and letting you know how much we love you!!! If you can get together for a night let me know and I am there to keep your mind busy. My prayers are with you and just know you are the greatest ever!!!!

Funaki-naki-naki said...

Break-ups are horrid. I'm so sorry you have to go through this.

elisha said...

I am sorry to hear about it all too. Never fun. I say that you should go have fun or put your mad/sad energy into a good work out. Then watch a really funny show with some girlfriends, then play some Dance Dance Revolution, and then you will show the world who is boss!

Willing 'Ohana said...

Hey Jenilyn. I'm so sorry to hear about this. You are such a sweet person and do not deserve this. I don't know Sini but he sure don't deserve you. I know you can get through this and Heavenly Father will help you through it. Take care and be strong.

Elizabeth said...

Hey Jenilyn! I know what you are going through to an extent! I have stories and words of encouragement! Call me and we can chat (if you feel like you want to!) Trust me, trust me, trust me!!!! If this doesn't work out then the Lord has something SOOOOOOO much better in store for you! Email me and I'll send you my #, if you want it. Maybe you won't be comfortable talking with me, but if you are, call me!

gabegen said...

I'm sorry. If I could I would give you a big hug right now. Don't forget that you are so beautiful... I think there is something greater in store for you. Keep moving forward, you're beautiful.

AngiDe- Nana's Box said...

Oh my sweet Jenilyn! I am so sorry to hear. The best thing that I can tell you is that I Love You and the Lord loves you EVEN more!
Stay strong!

XOXOXO

The Memea family said...

I don't really know what to say but I'm sorry.

Levi and Meg said...

I'm so sorry Jen! I completely agree with you. It is the worse feeling ever! I am really sorry. The best advise I can give you is keep your self busy and surrounded by people that make you feel good! The worse you will feel is when you are in your room replaying it in your head when you are by yourself (don't do that) Call us for a girls night! Me and Britt are always down for a girls night!

Karessie said...

Jen!I learned SOOOO much about HOPE this past summer when I was on my internship in Tonga. And the HOPE you need/have can help you overcome this trial :) (HOPE: Have faith, Obedience, Pray diligently, and Endure to the end!!!). The only way I can help you, is to pray for you to be comforted. We all love you Jenn! And most importantly, our Heavenly Father loves you!

The Varo's said...

Hey Girlie-
I'm so sorry. Remember that the Lord loves you and wants you to be happy. There's something better around the corner. I love this saying "It'll all be okay in the end, if it's not okay, it's not the end." Know how beautiful you are in the inside and out!
Love, Monica

Ronnie said...

Jenilyn, I don't have to tell you that we're here for you...you're always welcomed to come over and crash! Lele said something so true when I told her about what just happened to you...she said "This means that she'll find someone BETTER!" I couldn't agree more. We love you!

P.S. LiafromLaie made me LOL! hilarious!

McKenna, Daniel and Elise said...

Hey girl, I am very proud of you for being able to write about this on your blog. I know you don't think you are very strong, but I know you are. Just take things one day at a time, "baby steps" if you will and things in time will get better. Know that I am here for you. I have been thinking of you nonstop since Sunday, I keep crying way too easily and people at work think I'm some weird basket case. Elise seems to always cheer me up if I'm having a bad day. I will bring her over on Friday to give you a some HUGS/SMILES/KISSES/&GIGGLES!!!!!!
Talk to you tomorrow.

Con Amor Siempre, Mo

Elvina said...

So I guess u and Annie are doing an EARLY morning pedicure manana. I wish I could come with but the kids have games and yeah.... u and Annie need that 1 on 1....after that, you have NO CHOICE but to hang out with the rest of us crazies. My heart is with you during this time and always will be....u know that already. I know you are hearing every cliche that exists about a broken heart and moving forward....so I'll just save a hug for u when I see u! LOVES!

In.A.Nutshell said...

hey i'm gonna facebook you 'cause i have an earful of personal jazz to share, but wanted to say
a) this is my first time on your blog. hi.
b) that really sucks and i'm so so sorry you have to be feeling what you're feeling now

In.A.Nutshell said...

sorry, this is stefani (myers) jorgensen

hilary said...

jenilyn my heart reaches out to you and it made me so sad to read your post. i am so sorry. you are so strong though, and the Lord will be there for you and you will find that one special person some day. hang in there, i'll be thinking about ya girl!

Erin said...

jenilyn... i am so sorry you are going through this horrible, horrible experience. you are beautiful, charismatic, funny, intelligent, and STRONG. you come from a family of strong women -- remember that. rely on heavenly father and he will help you through this. we love you!

Ohana Wright said...

What in the world?! Jenilyn,...I'm so so sorry. I will for sure keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I think it's great that you get to go away to New Zealand for awhile. BIG HUGS!